


five times elena houghlin sexts the wrong person

by wethethousands (atlantisairlock)



Category: Charlie's Angels (2019)
Genre: Crack, F/F, Near Future, Sexting, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:42:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22017313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atlantisairlock/pseuds/wethethousands
Summary: AKA Elena is a tech genius but somehow can't figure out her new Android phone...?100% crack.
Relationships: Background Jane Kano/Sabina Wilson, Rebekah Bosley/Elena Houghlin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 70





	five times elena houghlin sexts the wrong person

**Author's Note:**

  * For [asstrid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/asstrid/gifts).



> hi everyone, this fic is entirely astrid's fault. please direct all complaints to her! cheers!
> 
> there isn't Explicit Sex Per Se bc it's all text, but elena uses a bunch of very explicit language and calls boz daddy more than once because she's a lil shit.
> 
> spoiler characters + spoiler ship at the end... enjoy the read : )

**one**

elena: IMG_5321.JPG  
elena: all dressed up for u xoxo  
elena: can't wait for u to be home so u can take these off me...  
elena: w ur teeth? ;)  
elena: IMG_5322.JPG  
elena: look how wet i am for u already daddyyyy   
ingrid: Elena, this is Ingrid.   
ingrid: You look very nice, but I'm afraid this is way more than I ever needed to know about your sex life.  
ingrid: Or Bosley 342's sex life.  
ingrid: Teeth? Really? How would that even work?  
elena: pls delete this idk how this stupid phone works i'm sorry  
ingrid: Believe me, I am much, much sorrier. 

**two**

elena: i'm so bored  
elena: why are u in prague  
elena: wtf is there to do in prague? shoot ppl in the kneecaps when they try to strangle innocent civilians???  
elena: u could be tying me up and fingerfucking my ass until i cry instead...  
sabina: oooooooh  
sabina: KINKY  
sabina: wrong number tho LOL   
sabina: but thAts HOT babe!!! id totes b down if i wasnt already bangin jane   
sabina: but hey if u n boz r ever inch rested in a 4sum let us kno i bet jane wld be agreeable  
sabina: elena  
sabina: elenaaaaaaaa dont leave me on read r u embarrassed??????  
sabina: ur still cute ;;;;;))))  
sabina: n u kno it wld b HAWT!!!  
sabina: i bet boz wouldnt leave me on read if i offered 2 let her fuck me

**three**

elena: when are u gonna be done with PAPERWORK? i'm lying in bed with my fingers inside me and wishing they were urs   
elena: i bet withholding sex from ur girlfriend is against the geneva conventions, especially when said girlfriend ate u out for like two hours yesterday  
jane: ???????? EXCUSE ME????????  
jane: ELENA??????? THIS IS JANE!!!!!!  
jane: ELENA WHAT THE FUCK.  
elena: oh crap sorry wrong number   
elena: this phone sucks!!   
elena: ... so do i... _wink  
_jane: DON'T EVER TEXT ME AGAIN

**four**

elena: u left so early today :(  
elena: i woke up n u were already gone  
elena: here i was, about to surprise u  
elena: i guess i'll have to wear my plug inside me allll day... maybe u can shove ur strap right inside me once u get home xxx   
saint: This.  
saint: Is.  
saint: Not.  
saint: Bosley.  
elena: oh my GOD fuck fuck fuck SAINT?   
elena: I AM SO SORRY  
saint: [ AUTOMATED MESSAGE ] Dear Ms Houghlin, the Townsend Agency regrets to inform you that you are officially banned from the kitchen or within five miles of Saint. This is an indefinite ban and commences with immediate effect. If you believe this ban has been made in error (it is not), please contact Charlie directly. Thank you.  
elena: nooooooooooo  
elena: saint, don't be like that, it was an honest mistake i promise  
elena: saint!!!!!  
elena: saint i need wine  
elena: and cheese  
elena: dammit!!

**five**

elena: daddy i miss u so much i'm so fucking horny i need ur fingers inside me please i'm so wet for u, wanna eat u out so bad... feel ur hand around my throat... wanna sit on ur face... i touched myself like u told me to but i didn't cum i promise, i just wanna cum on ur tongue or on ur hand, i'm all urs... come home soon  
elena: VID_4215.MP4  
charlie: ...  
elena: oh my god hold on  
elena: CHARLIE?????  
elena: SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT  
elena: i mean  
elena: no  
elena: oh my god oh my god  
elena: no  
charlie: ...  
charlie: Your message just disappeared off my phone.  
charlie: Houghlin, did you hack my phone?...  
charlie: Houghlin.  
elena: ... no  
elena: okay maybe... but just to delete that, i didn't touch anything else!!! i swear  
elena: CHARLIE I'M SO SORRY. THAT WAS NOT MEANT FOR YOU I SWEAR  
charlie: Yes. I assumed so.  
charlie: Houghlin, please go and speak to Chandra in IT tomorrow about advanced hacking modules. You're obviously overqualified for your current training classes. I'll let Jingyi know about moving you out of her class and up to Chandra's.  
charlie: Also, please block my number.   
charlie: Please.   
elena: noted  
elena: on both counts  
elena: … sorry  
elena: i'm just gonna leave now  
elena: thanks charlie

**bonus**

alex: Nat? Serious question.  
natalie: yes baby what is it?  
alex: When we started dating, did any of us ever accidentally send Charlie... like... sexts?  
natalie: what the fuck? no   
natalie: it took me long enough to even start sending YOU sexts  
natalie: maybe dylan did? i don't know i don't want to know  
dylan: NO COMMENT LOL  
dylan: ... did some1 send u sexts  
natalie: dylan you sent charlie SEXTS?!?!?!  
dylan: I SAID NO COMMENT  
dylan: ALEX DID AN ANGEL SEND U SEXTS LOL  
alex: Dylan, please stop talking to me   
dylan: NO NO DO TELL  
dylan: I CAN HELP  
dylan: DO U NEED ME 2 DISCIPLINE UR GIRLS? :))))  
alex: No. No, I most certainly do not.   
dylan: U KNO I CAN HELP ;)   
alex: I have work to do. I'll see you both tonight.  
alex: Tell the girls that Mommy says she'll buy McDonalds home for supper if they're good and finish all their homework.  
dylan: BUY ME MACS TOO XOXO LOVE UUUU  
natalie: see you tonight   
natalie: ... charlie.   
natalie: <3 


End file.
